The Canadian Home Fitness Test LP

You can’t get more retro than the 1970s. I mean, just look at that artwork! Health and Welfare Canada was trying to be so hip it probably hurt. But the goal was to get the men and women of Canada physically fit even if it killed them!

Well, that’s not really true. Often with this product it is recommended to check your fitness level before and during the exercises. So if you have your spandex tights and Adidas running shoes, lets put our stereophonic needles on The Canadian Home Fitness Test LP:

You open the record album cover to reveal two page spreads giving you the instructions and a Physical Fitness Evaluation Chart. Utilizing both correctly will ensure you don’t die of a heart attack while stepping your way to a leaner and meaner you.

First you use the chart to find your age. You then place the needle on the record in the grove that corresponds to the number next to your age. Both my wife and I are in our 50s, so as a woman she would start with Exercises for Females No. 1. As a man I would start with Exercises for Men No. 2 on the opposite side of the record. Then you step up and step down until the music stops.

Being as we are technically visiting the 1970s, I can be sexist and say “Ladies first!”

Obviously this is a gradated exercise routine. As you progress, perhaps starting with the slow No. 1 level and working your way up to the fastest No. 6 level for your gender. The audio clip above is the No. 6 level for ladies.

And now it’s time for the men to sweat it out to the techno oldies:

This audio clip was the No. 2 level for men.

The music doesn’t vary much from level to level, and not much between the men and the ladies. After a time it does become pretty annoying! Perhaps it was planned that way to make you work harder to finish sooner?

The back of the record cover explains the results of the fitness test. You might be at an undesirable fitness level or the recommended fitness level. Or dead. It doesn’t say what to do in that eventuality.

Released in 1975 and still making us smile almost 50 years later.

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